An Indian wedding

Labels (my girlfriend from work) invited me to her brother's wedding that was held yesterday. It was the first Indian wedding I have attended, although I have been invited to a few. Labels is Christian and her brother married a Hindu girl, who is a Brahmin (which is one of the highest caste of Hindu's and who are vegetarian). It obviously is a love marriage, considering the two are from different religions. Planning the wedding was difficult because of varying religious beliefs and the bride chose not to convert to Christianity. It was definitely not a smooth path to the "aisle" (there was no aisle...hahaha).

Now I want to be as diplomatic as I can, and I don't want to come across as insensitive when i describe the wedding. But since this is my blog and it is also a learning tool for all my family and friends I feel I need to be honest about my experience.

Firstly, the wedding was on a Wednesday (although there were several days of celebration before hand) such as the saffron ceremony. The Saffron ceremony is ceremony where the bride to be is purified and adorned by the youngest female of the gathering and the application of Mehendi, where the bride's hands and feet are adorned with henna to enhance and celebrate her beauty
I went with a couple of colleagues from work and when i arrived, (it was in a hotel) there was loud techno music playing and everyone was gathered in this room. Shortly thereafter, the bride and groom walked in (to the techno music), both wearing traditional Indian wedding garland. The groom was in a suit and the bride in an emerald green saree. The parents got up to speak for a few minutes (they spoke in Telegu) so i have no idea what was said. Then the bride and groom cut the cake, fed it to each other, then everyone lined up to wish them congratulations and get our pictures taken.
Then we were whisked away to another room where were ate a buffet dinner, standing up! Yup no chairs or tables. I was carrying a clutch purse and a pashmina and I had to put it between my feet on the floor in order to eat my meal. And with Indian food we mostly eat with our hands, so add that to the mix. Trying to hold a plate, rip roti and naan into small pieces to eat the chicken and veg korma. Freaking difficult.
I was there a total of an hour and a half before we finished desert, said good bye to the bride and groom and made our way back to work.
WOW.

I know every culture has it's own traditions and this has been a learning experience for me. I was honoured to be invited and it was very important to Labels and her mom that I came. And I was glad i went.
I've never been one of those girls who has constantly dreamed about my wedding day and have it planned already. But I have some idea of how I would like it to be. Definitely small, and intimate, special and sentimental.
The Indian wedding was interesting, but it is not how I would want my wedding to be. I also went to a couple of Korean weddings as well when I lived there, and they were also rushed and tacky. Although I would hate to see the whole world westernized, because it would be a boring world if that was the case, I do feel that western weddings are beautiful (when done right and not crazily over budget).

Definitely glad I experienced that, but when I think back to my sister's and her husband's wedding, it was so magical and although their wedding may not be what everyone envisions, I felt it had the best of everything. But mostly you just felt love in the room! And I guess that is what is should come down to in the end.

Miss Spoiled Brat!

One thing I have learned from living in two separate countries and traveling to 16 different ones, is that women and men are essentially the same. Yes, there are the obvious culture differences but essentially, the same.

One thing I noticed though is different is the way we (meaning women) criticize (tease) our friends. In Canada when our friend asks, when out shopping, if her butt looks fat in her jeans, we say no. Of course not, that would be rude. It's not about being HONEST, because we know with women where honesty can get you sometimes. But instead we might suggest another pair that is hotter, or say the colour isn't right. But definitely not that your butt looks fat.

This brings me to my story, on Saturday I went out with Muscles friends, girls and guys younger than me, but still kind of cool people. Except for this one girl, I'll call her, miss spoiled brat. Her parents are apparently filthy rich, and she had a mad crush on Muscles, and made some not so nice comments to him about me. Out of jealousy of course, and i got the last laugh cause I have the guy. Muscles got invited to this day time party and so even though I was sick as a dog I got dressed up and went with him for a few hours. He invited 5 of his buddies and then one of them invited miss spoiled brat. Well after the party we decided to go to KFC. Not my choice but still I haven't been in years, so I went. One of the girls (I'll call her miss innocent, cause she is sweet and well innocent) was eating a chicken burger and it also came with a piece of chicken. As she was eating miss spoiled brat said, and I quote "Hurry up fatty, you don't need to eat that anyway or you'll just get fatter!"

I mean WTF!

Miss innocent is friends with spoiled brat, and she is not fat by North American standards anyway. And yes, Indian women are for the most part slim, but I've seen my fair share of very heavy women, in sarees with their belly's showing for crying out loud. It seems that curvier women get more attention here anyway (by curvy I mean hour glass shape, not overweight)
I turned to miss innocent and said she looked great and that I thought she was beautiful. Then I looked at spoiled brat and told her she her that fat girls could get skinny but ugly girls were pretty much stuck that way for life. I know it's mean, but she pissed me off. And when I meant ugly I meant on the inside and out.
The worse part of this is, that these two girls are friends. Man I don't need or want friends like that.

I told Muscles never to invite me out when spoiled brat was going to be there, I'm too old to hang around with people like that. I left high school and University a long time ago.

Pictures and the christmas Season

Last weekend Muscles took me to a really nice spot outside of the city, it is called Osman Sagr and it's a lovely lake with some actual greenery. Hyderabad has a lot more trees and a few more parks than most cities, but it was nice to get out of the city for a few hours and spend some time in the quiet, with a lot less people. Here are some pics of that day.













Well tomorrow officially marks the beginning of the Christmas season, and although I know I moved away from Canada and I have no reason to complain, or whine about missing my favourite holiday, but this is my blog and so I am going to do just that. I am lucky to have experienced Christmas in 2 different countries, once being in South Korea, and the other time in India last year when i spent 2 months backpacking here (this will be my second time in India for Christmas). But both of those times I was going home shortly after the holiday, I arrived home January 1st from Korea, and December 28th from India. This time I'm here until the end of March at least. Although many of my friends in India are excited about Christmas (they are Christians) there is no where near the hype here as at home, no tree, no homemade cookies, no presents (yes I guess it makes me selfish), no snow, no crazy hustle and bustle on the streets, and malls.
I am hoping to be as festive as i can at work and try to get people at the call centre to really get excited about it. They'll be speaking to American and Canadian customers and so I'll live vicariously through them.
Muscles wants to try and give me some semblance of a Christmas so that's sweet.
But yes, I'll miss the holiday season, even the commercialism that goes with it. I love giving and receiving gifts......and so it will be rough this year. But it also will be yet another cultural experience under my belt, and maybe celebrating Christmas differently will help me see more of the real meaning behind it.

Nah...I doubt it. I never claimed to be a Saint. I do want presents, and cookies, turkey a Christmas tree, snow and MY FAMILY and FRIENDS!

Attacks in Mumbai

I want to thank everyone who has called my mom and dad to check to make sure that I am OK here in India. It means a lot that people are worried. Although it worries my mom every time the phone rings when something like this has happened.

I know my parents are both worried about me and they have reason to fear (the simple fact that they are parents), but I also think they are being strong about this as well.

Firstly, I am safe and quite far away from the incidents. I am about 600km away from Mumbai, and here is a map to show exactly the locations.




This is a very random attack, and what is scary is it is the first of it's kind, no one has seen anything like this. Also what is scary is that the terrorists are looking for people with American and British passports. I guess this is when it is good to be Canadian. OK, bad joke, because seriously, I look and sound like an American, and last I read on the news 6 Canadians were being held hostage inside the Taj hotel.

No one really knows much about the groups who are involved with the attacks other than they are most likely NOT Indian nationals and that they arrived by boat at the gateway of Mumbai.
The other freaky thing is this time last or around this time I was in India. I had just visited Mumbai about 3 weeks earlier, and I had visited all the locations that the terrorists targeted. I even had lunch and drinks at Leopolds restaurant. This restaurant was targeted because it was made famous in the book Shantaram, where the foreigners would go to hang out and drink.

The attacks have been described by Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh as "well planned and very orchestrated attacks probably with external linkages to create panic by choosing high profile targets and indiscriminately killing innocent foreigners"

Regardless of what you heard in the media, they still don't know who is responsible for these attacks, and although a group called the Deccan Mujahideen has sent emails taking credit for the attacks, the police think that this is a red herring likely to steer the police in the wrong direction.

In Hyderabad the police are taking precautions as well, since this is the Silicon Valley of India, and so there are increased check posts, and our huge work party scheduled for yesterday at the 5 star hotel The Taj Deccan was cancelled for security reasons. These are just precautions, and although I disagree with stopping your life because of terrorists, I think that Hyderabad is probably quite safe from any attacks. And outside of this incident, I still stand by the fact that India is a safe place to travel to.

So, although I am safe from harm and far from these events, there are many people who lost their lives (125), 6 of these being foreigners and 14 being police officers. The attacks are still continuing, and so please pray for those still being held hostage and pray these attacks end soon.

Pay it forward

This weekend, I did a few things I feel really good about. Now I didn't do them so i could come and write about them in my blog. I Just wanted to share my story, so that maybe it might inspire others to pay it forward too.

Muscles and I stopped at a sandwich wrap counter (absolutely delicious), and he ordered a chicken 65 wrap and I ordered an egg and spicy chicken tandoori wrap. Out of the corner of my eye I spotted an old man, homeless an sick. He had a huge tumour on his back. I couldn't see it, as it was just a massive lump under his shirt. He was politely asking me for money. Now here in India, people aren't so polite about begging. While Muscles and I are stopped at an intersection people come to us, beg, cry, touch my feet, legs, arms (and it drives me crazy), and sometimes they carry their babies with them to make it even worse. Of course I feel bad and sad and want to help, who wouldn't. But Muscles tells me that a lot of the time when we don't give money they will scream out "asshole, whore, and bitch" to me. Being western doesn't help, I guess. I don't like to give money, I prefer to give food or clothes or something else. Many homeless people get their children to beg for them and who knows what they use the money for. I've been known to buy fresh lime juice from the street vendors for many of the children who beg me for money.

Anyway this old man, had a sad face, but wasn't being overly aggressive. So I ordered him an egg wrap sandwich and gave it to him. He could barely look me in the eye as I gave it to him and a tear formed in one of his eyes. He walked away without saying thank you, but I know it's because of his pride, and I know he was thankful. Muscles told me with a look of love in his eyes that his mother does the same thing.

Last night Muscles and I went to City Centre, a pretty nice "mall" in Banjara Hills and there is this little girl that I fell in love with who works outside. Yes, she works. She is there from about 7pm to midnight and sometimes later (to get the crowds out of the bar). She's about 7 or 8 years old, clean, beautiful and happy! Her English is quite good and I think she goes to school during the day. Her job is selling packs of gum at double the price than what you can buy them for in the stores. They sell for about 5 rupees (10 cents or so) and she sells them for 15-20 rupees. She is neither aggressive nor annoying. She is the sweetest girl and I want to take her home with me every time I see her. She always greets me with a huge hug, and I have even taken her for a ride on my scooter. I took her around the block while she sat at the back screaming and waving to people. Then when i told her to sit down, she said "chill out, are you worried or something?" HAHA. So I went with it. She is courageous and happy and although my heart breaks for her, I do realize we are born into the life we have. She is making the best of it.
Anyway, last night she greeted me with a big hug and shook Muscles hand (such a little lady), and told me her birthday was on January 22nd and she wanted to see me. Muscles bought a pack of gum from her, and I ran in to the McDonald's and bought her a strawberry shake. When I gave it to her she hugged me tight, and then ran off to greet another potential gum buying customer. She has made many friends there and everyone keeps their eyes out for her, to make sure she is OK. When i went to sleep last night, she was the last thought on my mind. She is so full of life happy, and trusting. I don't pray often, but I found myself praying for her to have a good life and for God to keep her safe. This little girl has touched my heart.

Living in India has made me a better person, it has opened my eyes to the world and to a culture so different from my own. I am thankful every single day that i was given the strength, courage, and drive to do what i am doing. My parents, although it breaks my Mom's heart that I am so far away from home, are the main reason for who I am and what I'm doing. They always said to set my sights high and that I can do anything I want as long as I work hard. They told me to live my life on my own terms.
I am a better person for this experience. So many people told me that going to India would change my life, and for a while I was like, "what the hell does that mean?" It has changed my life, but I wasn't looking in the right place. I was expecting this huge life altering experience to happen, but it's the small things that have changed me.

You don't need to leave home or travel to India to change your life, nor do you have to wait for some life altering event to happen to you. You just have to look for the small things, like I did.

The most frequent compliment I get

Although I always receive compliments about the way I'm dressed or how I look, there is one constant compliment I get regularly from both women and men. They are fascinated by something I wear that is my signature, if you will. Most of you who know me, might have already guessed what this could be.

My earrings!

People compliment me daily. One guy asked me if I could buy him some of the same kind of earrings, give them to him so he can gift them to his girlfriend. Now Indians are not shy about wearing jewelery, especially bangles and ankle bracelets and nose rings. But their earrings are usually understated and small. Mine are large, all kinds if interesting shapes, designs and colours (although I wear mostly silver). It's not so easy to find funky earrings here, so I do miss going to Le Chateau, Dynamite and Aldo accessories for my fix of earrings.

When I tell people that my Mom picks out a lot of my earrings, they are shocked. I usually tell them, that my mom is super cool with great taste and I always get a few pair of earrings as goodies in my Christmas stocking. One pair in particular which my Dad bought me get the most compliments. They LOVE that my dad has picked earrings out for me, and I tell them my dad loves when I wear big earrings.

Everyone wants to know where they can get these earrings. Canada my friends! :)

Here are some pics of my favourite earrings!!!


I love my earrings, there is pair here my sister and her husband bought me on their honeymoon in St. Lucia. I get so many compliments on them. They are made out of coconut. They are the brown ones up top they also come with a matching bracelet. One pair is from my best friend's sister, another my mom picked out, which are the large silver ones that every person says are the same size as wrist bangles (hehe), and a few pair I bought myself.





These are the earrings my dad picked out! I love them!!! They are so long they almost touch my shoulders!! They look terrific with my hair up!

Pictures

Here are some pictures taken from the last two weekends.

I went to a birthday party two weekends ago and my friends live in a gorgeous apartment block overlooking high tech city and what is called the Secret Lake. Here are some pictures of the view.











This is actually the building I work in. The larger of the two buildings that is behind the smaller building. It's called I-Labs and it houses GE Money and Hyundai.







Muscles took me out Saturday to this place I have never been called The Waterfront. It was a beautiful spot by the water where you can get some snacks and small meals and sit by the water. He took me to see the new James Bond movie Quantum and Solace, and then to this romantic spot. There is a road off in the distance called Necklace road, and it is called that, because when all the lights are lit up it looks like the lake is wearing a necklace. Looks beautiful, but difficult to capture on camera.


Me before Muscles picked me up for our Saturday date.


He looks pensive, but he is actually watching the football match (soccer) on the tv. The view is gorgeous behind him (which is what I was trying to capture) hehe!


More of the view


The food options. The "sodaz" place had awesome sweet lime soda and blueberry soda. It's freshed squeezed lime with soda water and some sugar. Dee-lish. Now not sure what they used for blueberry flavour cause there is not a blueberry to be found here.