Bakrid: Goat sacrificing

I woke up on Saturday November 28th to the sound of goats (what sound do goats make) baaing I guess. I could hear it throughout the colony we live in. It was Bakrid the Islamic celebration of sacrificing goats!

The history behind it stems from the Old testament (for Christians) and in the Quran for Muslims. Prophet Abraham was willing to sacrifice his son Ishmael at God's command. However, God told Abraham to sacrifice a goat (lamb, camel or cow) instead. A goat is usually purchased for each member of the family (depending on your financial situation), and must be healthy and conscious, and must be male (so as to not sacrifice a pregnant animal and to allow reproduction). Then a butcher is called to the house to cut the meat and it is split into three equal parts, one for the poor, one for relatives and one for the family.

Goody bags resembling western birthday goody (and made specifically for this occasions) bags are then filled with meat and distributed. Less fortunate people come and knock on your door all day to collect their raw meat.

Also a feast of meat is prepared for breakfast of the organs (liver, heart, kidneys), and then a huge lunch that also includes the brain and intestines (in our family at least). No part of the animal goes to waste. I did not eat any of the organs or other bits and pieces. My stomach just can't handle that first thing in the morning (or ever really). Apparently I have heard from many people that the brain is quite delicious. Ah, no thanks.

I also made a dish of mutton (goat meat) for the lunch. I marinated the mutton in ginger garlic paste, balsamic vinegar, soya sauce, worchester sauce, lime and salt and pepper then cooked it in the steamer with tomatoes. I was told by numerous members of the family (uncles and aunts) and Muscles friends that it was their favourite dish!!

I told my mother-in-law that it seemed like this was a celebration for the men and work for the women, as she was working in the kitchen from 8am until late into the night and again the next day. She laughed and wholeheartedly agreed with me!

It was an interesting celebration and a learning experience, and quite a literal interpretation from the Quran.

Eid Mubarak to all!!! (happy celebrations)!

Things that make you go hmmmm....

One of the girls told me something at the Hyderabad mommy and babies group on Monday that was really interesting, she said that the reason babies tend to look like their fathers right after birth is because it is a way to reassure the father that the baby is his, since you know it is definitely the woman's if she has just given birth to it.

It's funny because Yasmine looked so much like her daddy when she was born I repeatedly said, she looks nothing like me, but I know she is mine!! Now she is starting to look more like me, but I guess that's ok now because Muscles knows Yasmine is his. HAHAHA. I guess being married to the person is not enough reassurance that the baby is the fathers.

Too funny, but definitely food for thought!

The reunion and my dad’s visit to India

Junayd, Yasmine and I just dropped my dad and Fred off at the airport to catch their flight back to Toronto. It has been an emotionally charged week, with a reunion, my dad meeting my husband, and my in-laws, adjusting to life that is India and then saying goodbye.

Having Junayd meet his daughter for the first time was an amazing experience, he instantly feel in love with her and has not been able to keep his eyes off of her. Although he loved her because she was his daughter, meeting her, touching her, smelling her and hearing her amazing sounds never did justice an ocean apart. The pictures just do not do justice to how lovely and sweet this little one is.

We had a nice week, did some shopping for Yasmine (bought a bottle sterilizer, a comfy little chair for her to sit in and some clothes. My dad and Fred could not get over the traffic in Hyderabad! I think if you were to ask them what shocked them the most, it would be that. But they handled themselves with grace and kept an open mind about their experience. I have to say I am impressed and really proud of them.

Of course Yasmine was the star with my in-laws falling head over heels in love with her! They couldn’t stop taking pictures, kissing and hugging her. My dad also really liked my in-laws and I think it has put his mind at ease knowing he was leaving me in good hands. Most importantly, my dad and my husband Muscles got along well.

It was hard to do a lot of sightseeing because Muscles is taking a programming course during the mornings and working until 130am, so I was the guide and we didn’t go too far as we also had Yasmine. I took them on their first auto rickshaw ride, with Yasmine in her carrier on my dad’s lap. Now you have to understand we go at pretty low speeds. But they enjoyed the ride, I tell you! Fred said a number of times how he almost crapped his pants!! For an 85 year old he was certainly a trouper!!

Once the weekend came, I took them to the Taj Krishna, a 5 star hotel and one of the nicest in Hyderabad for lunch and meet some of my girlfriends. Fred and my dad enjoyed the continental food too –no Indian food for them!! Not that they are fussy eaters, but spice just does not agree with both of them. Fred especially enjoyed my mother-in-laws tea, which is cardamom based! My dad even enjoyed a cup or two!!

On Sunday my father-in-law took Fred and my dad out to do some sight seeing, as he felt they could not leave Hyderabad only seeing the posh malls I took them too (HAHA). He took them to old city which has the most traffic, the most people and probably the most pollution! They went a museum, a park, and then later in the evening Muscles, my sister-in-law and I took them to see the seven tombs! I never brought my camera so once my dad figures out how to extract them off his memory card I’ll post some.

My mother-in-law also went all out to cook them a feast of non-spicy Indian food, so that they could at least get an idea of the kind of food we eat here. She made chicken biryani, beef cutlets, a beef stir-fry, and fried potatoes. And for dessert they had gone to a nice sweet shop and served gulab jammun which is like donut holes (timbits) in a sugary glazed sauce. The meal was a success!! Of course my mother-in-law cooked all afternoon to please her guests, and please them she did!!

On their last day in Hyderabad we just spent the day chilling out, and my dad spent time with Yasmine, as he wouldn’t see her in a long time. It was really hard to say good bye, as my father has been a huge help in my life since I had Yasmine. I lost my mother and became a mother in the span of 11 days, and not having my husband there with me was so difficult. But my dad was there for me and Yasmine through it all. The labour (though not the pushing part), sleepless nights, her first laugh, her first bath, and the long 17 hour journey back to India! Yasmine has been important in my dad’s life and has helped him to heal, and although I know my life is with my husband, saying good bye was especially hard, mostly because of our circumstances, and losing my mom. My dad always said that Yasmine was the new woman in his life! Even though she will continue to hold that special place in his heart, it will be done from afar!

I will be sure that Yasmine knows how much her grandfather loves her and how much she means to him and everything he has done to make her transition from Canada to India as easy as possible!!

I hope my dad comes back to visit and stays longer than a week next time!! I know he has to move on with the next phase of his life, a new path that he never expected to take, but life has to go on!

Yasmine will miss the early morning hang out sessions with Granddad, as mommy slept, watching hockey night in Canada with granddad and of course getting burped by Granddad, as he always managed to get the stubborn burps out!!

Thanks for everything dad!!! You are a wonderful father and grandfather, and I’ll never forget how much you have helped me!! We’ll see you really soon and until then, we’ll skype and get to see each other on video!!

The most beautiful thing I heard in a long time....

I haven't been motivated to write in a long time, but while i was sitting upstairs, I overheard my father speaking to my 2 month old daughter and he said the most beautifully moving thing, that I wanted to write it down so as to never forget it.
On Monday we fly to India, and as you all know my mom passed away 2 months ago. So my dad was having a chat with Yasmine and he said to her:
"On Monday when we fly to go and meet your daddy, maybe we'll see your nanny, because we'll be so close to heaven."

I love you and miss you mom, and on Monday night, Yasmine and I will be looking out of the airplane window and up into the heavens for you.

Welcome Yasmine Rose

Dear fellow readers,
Sorry for the disappearing act for the last few months, but those who know me, family and friends you all know the story. For those of you who are random readers, I came back to Canada to have my baby because my mom was diagnosed with cancer. I was 34 weeks pregnant and flew half away around the world to be with my family. My husband was my biggest supporter and made sure I left as soon as possible to be with my mom.
Sadly, she passed away on September 6th, 11 days before her granddaughter Yasmine Rose was born.
But this post is not about losing my mother, because I am not ready to write about that yet. The feelings are still very raw and new, and sometimes I think i am still in denial.
This post is about my daughter, Muscles and my daughter. She was born on September 17th, at 37 and half weeks. I had the support of my Aunt Anita and her daughter, my cousin Sheila in the room with me. They were amazing coaches and took my husbands place. My dad was also in and out of the room supporting me through the labour. i was in labour a total of 15 hours, but only about 6 of those hours were hard constant labour. Yasmine Rose was born at 4;45pm and weighed 6 pounds 4 ounces. She's perfect!
I plan to head back to India in about a month or so after I get all the paperwork done and after my sister has her baby.

Yasmine has been a blessing in our life, and has helped us heal from the death of my mother. She has no idea what her birth has done for us, and what her presence has meant for all of us, my dad, my aunts, my cousins, and my sister and I. One day when she is older she will understand the magnitude of her birth and timing of her being born. She was born the day before my parents were to celebrate their 38th wedding anniversary.
Here are some pictures of her birth and a few weeks after.

minutes old

First hair wash

mama and yasmine

leaving the hospital

At aunty Shar's and Uncle Tim's place

some weird pregnancy myths.....

I feel like I am living in the twilight zone over here sometimes with the things people tell me not to do during pregnancy, or what I should do. Some of this stuff I have NEVER heard in my life, and it's quite unsettling. I met an American mid-wife here working in a hospital and she has been great to talk to to clear the air on some of the superstitions/ideas. She also told me that Indians look at pregnancy as more of an illness or condition and that Indian women are much less active during pregnancy than western women.

Here is some of the list of things that have been said to me, or advised of me during my pregnancy:

• Don't eat papaya as it will cause a spontaneous abortion
• Do not drink cold water as it will give the baby asthma (I have a hard time drinking room temperature water and always bring a bottle of frozen water to work so it lasts for hours)
• I shouldn't be walking or taking the stairs in my condition (pregnancy is a condition)?
• During a solar or lunar eclipse, a pregnant woman should not be outside and should only lay flat and not move for those 2 hours. Going to the bathroom is out of the question, making food (chopping or cutting of any kind). The result is if you cut food, the baby will be born missing a limb or finger, or have a cleft palate, or could have some kind pf permanent birthmark on their body. There was an eclipse 3 weeks ago I think. Luckily it was between 5:30am-7:30am and I was asleep anyway. My pregnant boss (who recently had her baby) sent me home early from work to make sure I was home and ready to sleep by 4am!! I work night shift.
• During the 8th month (weeks 32-35) I should be extra careful no running, no stress, nothing that could cause me to go into labour basically, because babies born in the 8th month don't live! (HOW MORBID IS THIS)? This is straight from my mother-in-laws mouth. She said babies born in the 7th and 9th month are fine, but not the 8th. When I told her it was a stupid superstition she freaked out and was like no, it's medical!! WTF?
• After a baby is born, a woman must stay home for 40 days (not 30 not 39 but 40 days, and do limited amounts of activity (not much reading or watching television) because it will affect your health in the future. My friend just told me this (she had her baby 11 days ago) and then she asked me, do women do this in the west? I was like, never heard of this IN MY LIFE!!! I am not staying home for 40 days unless I'm too sick to move!!! and I am certainly not going to stop reading and watching television!!
• Also during the 40 days the baby should not leave the house for fear of the evil eye. People will send evil thoughts and put curses on the baby because they are jealous of how cute it is. Apparently people think Muscles and my baby will be really cute (of course it will) and have told me very seriously to be careful about the evil eye, and to keep the baby at home and to put kajal (black kohl) on it's face or eyes so people don't get envious of the cuteness of the baby. For GOD'S sake. Are you kidding me. The worst thing is that my husband actually believes this.
  

So that is about it, I might be forgetting something, because i have had all sorts of crap thrown at me since i got pregnant and been living in India. Some of it is interesting to hear from a cultural stand point, but when you're pregnant and already worried that you're doing everything right for the baby, then you have some of this crap spewed at you it just makes for a very confusing time and can be very frustrating!
I am now 32 weeks pregnant, and am so anxious and excited than soon I'll be able to meet this little feisty boy or girl that has been inside me! But I also wonder what new and interesting things will come up on how to deal with a newborn in India, then how to deal with a toddler, etc. I am sure there will be lots of new anecdotes, superstitions and advice thrown my way. Should be interesting to say the least!!

Weekend Getaway

Muscles and I went away on the weekend, there aren't too many places to go that isn't too far outside of Hyderabad, so we chose Nagarjuna Sagar, which is a waterfall in the closest thing to wilderness you'll find so close to the city. We drove, and it took about 4 hours (and it is only about 200km) outside of the city.
The waterfall has pretty much dried up, but after the monsoon there should be a lot more water. But for us it was just the point of getting away more than seeing a waterfall, I mean come on, I've been to the Niagara Falls so many times in my life, no other waterfall could really do it justice (ok yes there are a few others that could in South America I think), but really, it was just about getting away.

Not much to write about, so I'll let the pictures do the talking.





A tree growing withing a tree




















28 weeks pregnant