Yasmine's Aqeeqa

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On Sunday we had Yasmine's aqeeqa, which is actually the name that is given to the goat that is sacrificed in the baby's honour. In Christianity you have baptism, and in Islam there is this. Yasmine was also supposed to get her head shaved as well, but it was my choice not to have this done. It provided a little bit of controversy in the extended family (not my in-laws), they were quite supportive actually. The idea behind shaving the head is that it removes harm from the baby, the hair should be weighed and whatever the weight an equal amount of money or gold should be distributed to the poor. The hair should then be buried to prevent evil. I had quite a few heated discussions with my husband about this, but in the end he chose to support me.

I never had my head shaved, and I am pretty sure I am doing ok (no evil spirits or ill-health). I guess it is all a matter of belief.

We invited about 70 people, and most of these were family from my father-on-laws side. We booked a caterer and enjoyed a meal of chicken curry and mutton byriani. The mutton was the goat that was sacrificed in Yasmine's honour! We also had kubani for dessert which is stewed sweet apricot with ice cream. It's one of my favourites!

Yasmine got money and a few outfits for her aqeeqa and was the guest of honor! the best part was that I was able to dress her in a beautiful pink dress that my aunt Diane and uncle Fred bought her that resembles a ballerina's tutu. It's gorgeous and she looked beautiful!

She was passed around a lot to many different people, and she was trouper, but got tired quickly and was getting a little annoyed with being passed around so much.

It was a beautiful celebration of her birth!

Adjusting to life as a mom in Hyderabad

Life sure is different here as a mom, not different bad or good, just different. I spent 2 months at home after I had Yasmine, and luckily my dad is very hands on and was the perfect helper. It also didn't hurt that I didn't so much as have to lift a finger. He cooked the meals, cleaned the house, and all I had to do was tend to my daughter. Now mind you the tending was not easy. She was jaundice the first few weeks and needed constant feedings to get rid of it. Now jaundice makes you sleepy so it was a chore to get her to wake up for those feedings.

Now that I am back with my husband life sure has gotten busier for me. He works a lot of hours and is studying a .net course as well, so it leaves me a lot of time at home to get things done. Mopping, sweeping, cooking, taking care of Yasmine, etc.... I am definitely busy, but it's a good busy. I am so thankful to get to be at home raising her. Here women only get three months off of work, so that would mean I would be going back to work next week. Yikes!! I couldn't even imagine it. I know women do it all the time, but coming from Canada where we get a year off, it seems like 3 months is unfair!

A few great things have happened: One is that I am now driving the car. I was driving a scooter before I got married and pregnant, and I adjusted to that, but for some reason a car seemed so much more daunting. However, it is not as bad as it looks. We drive on the left side of the road here, so i had to adjust to gearing with my left hand on the stick shift. It has given me so much independence and I cam come and go as i please with Yasmine. Also I have met a great group of girls, mothers actually who are foreign to Indian (Americans, a Belgian, a Swiss, two Japanese) who have had babies here. A few of them are married to Indians while the rest are here with their husbands who are working. Meeting these women have given me some inside scoop on where to find import baby products, or cool clothes, or just to hang out have tea and talk about being a mom in India. The best part is all the babies are almost the same age. I think the eldest baby is 4 months. It's nice to know Yasmine will have some play companions in the next 6 months when she start to be more interactive.

Yasmine is trying to talk a lot and is a VERY happy little girl. She smiles right when she opens her eyes and hears my voice and laughs out loud in her sleep. I'd like to think she is seeing my mom. I also think she is looking more and more like me everyday, and it makes my heart swell!! I'm so in love with my little girl!!!

Tomorrow is her Aqeeqa which is a Muslim celebration of birth, so stay tuned for pictures and more about this celebration!!

Bakrid: Goat sacrificing

I woke up on Saturday November 28th to the sound of goats (what sound do goats make) baaing I guess. I could hear it throughout the colony we live in. It was Bakrid the Islamic celebration of sacrificing goats!

The history behind it stems from the Old testament (for Christians) and in the Quran for Muslims. Prophet Abraham was willing to sacrifice his son Ishmael at God's command. However, God told Abraham to sacrifice a goat (lamb, camel or cow) instead. A goat is usually purchased for each member of the family (depending on your financial situation), and must be healthy and conscious, and must be male (so as to not sacrifice a pregnant animal and to allow reproduction). Then a butcher is called to the house to cut the meat and it is split into three equal parts, one for the poor, one for relatives and one for the family.

Goody bags resembling western birthday goody (and made specifically for this occasions) bags are then filled with meat and distributed. Less fortunate people come and knock on your door all day to collect their raw meat.

Also a feast of meat is prepared for breakfast of the organs (liver, heart, kidneys), and then a huge lunch that also includes the brain and intestines (in our family at least). No part of the animal goes to waste. I did not eat any of the organs or other bits and pieces. My stomach just can't handle that first thing in the morning (or ever really). Apparently I have heard from many people that the brain is quite delicious. Ah, no thanks.

I also made a dish of mutton (goat meat) for the lunch. I marinated the mutton in ginger garlic paste, balsamic vinegar, soya sauce, worchester sauce, lime and salt and pepper then cooked it in the steamer with tomatoes. I was told by numerous members of the family (uncles and aunts) and Muscles friends that it was their favourite dish!!

I told my mother-in-law that it seemed like this was a celebration for the men and work for the women, as she was working in the kitchen from 8am until late into the night and again the next day. She laughed and wholeheartedly agreed with me!

It was an interesting celebration and a learning experience, and quite a literal interpretation from the Quran.

Eid Mubarak to all!!! (happy celebrations)!

Things that make you go hmmmm....

One of the girls told me something at the Hyderabad mommy and babies group on Monday that was really interesting, she said that the reason babies tend to look like their fathers right after birth is because it is a way to reassure the father that the baby is his, since you know it is definitely the woman's if she has just given birth to it.

It's funny because Yasmine looked so much like her daddy when she was born I repeatedly said, she looks nothing like me, but I know she is mine!! Now she is starting to look more like me, but I guess that's ok now because Muscles knows Yasmine is his. HAHAHA. I guess being married to the person is not enough reassurance that the baby is the fathers.

Too funny, but definitely food for thought!

The reunion and my dad’s visit to India

Junayd, Yasmine and I just dropped my dad and Fred off at the airport to catch their flight back to Toronto. It has been an emotionally charged week, with a reunion, my dad meeting my husband, and my in-laws, adjusting to life that is India and then saying goodbye.

Having Junayd meet his daughter for the first time was an amazing experience, he instantly feel in love with her and has not been able to keep his eyes off of her. Although he loved her because she was his daughter, meeting her, touching her, smelling her and hearing her amazing sounds never did justice an ocean apart. The pictures just do not do justice to how lovely and sweet this little one is.

We had a nice week, did some shopping for Yasmine (bought a bottle sterilizer, a comfy little chair for her to sit in and some clothes. My dad and Fred could not get over the traffic in Hyderabad! I think if you were to ask them what shocked them the most, it would be that. But they handled themselves with grace and kept an open mind about their experience. I have to say I am impressed and really proud of them.

Of course Yasmine was the star with my in-laws falling head over heels in love with her! They couldn’t stop taking pictures, kissing and hugging her. My dad also really liked my in-laws and I think it has put his mind at ease knowing he was leaving me in good hands. Most importantly, my dad and my husband Muscles got along well.

It was hard to do a lot of sightseeing because Muscles is taking a programming course during the mornings and working until 130am, so I was the guide and we didn’t go too far as we also had Yasmine. I took them on their first auto rickshaw ride, with Yasmine in her carrier on my dad’s lap. Now you have to understand we go at pretty low speeds. But they enjoyed the ride, I tell you! Fred said a number of times how he almost crapped his pants!! For an 85 year old he was certainly a trouper!!

Once the weekend came, I took them to the Taj Krishna, a 5 star hotel and one of the nicest in Hyderabad for lunch and meet some of my girlfriends. Fred and my dad enjoyed the continental food too –no Indian food for them!! Not that they are fussy eaters, but spice just does not agree with both of them. Fred especially enjoyed my mother-in-laws tea, which is cardamom based! My dad even enjoyed a cup or two!!

On Sunday my father-in-law took Fred and my dad out to do some sight seeing, as he felt they could not leave Hyderabad only seeing the posh malls I took them too (HAHA). He took them to old city which has the most traffic, the most people and probably the most pollution! They went a museum, a park, and then later in the evening Muscles, my sister-in-law and I took them to see the seven tombs! I never brought my camera so once my dad figures out how to extract them off his memory card I’ll post some.

My mother-in-law also went all out to cook them a feast of non-spicy Indian food, so that they could at least get an idea of the kind of food we eat here. She made chicken biryani, beef cutlets, a beef stir-fry, and fried potatoes. And for dessert they had gone to a nice sweet shop and served gulab jammun which is like donut holes (timbits) in a sugary glazed sauce. The meal was a success!! Of course my mother-in-law cooked all afternoon to please her guests, and please them she did!!

On their last day in Hyderabad we just spent the day chilling out, and my dad spent time with Yasmine, as he wouldn’t see her in a long time. It was really hard to say good bye, as my father has been a huge help in my life since I had Yasmine. I lost my mother and became a mother in the span of 11 days, and not having my husband there with me was so difficult. But my dad was there for me and Yasmine through it all. The labour (though not the pushing part), sleepless nights, her first laugh, her first bath, and the long 17 hour journey back to India! Yasmine has been important in my dad’s life and has helped him to heal, and although I know my life is with my husband, saying good bye was especially hard, mostly because of our circumstances, and losing my mom. My dad always said that Yasmine was the new woman in his life! Even though she will continue to hold that special place in his heart, it will be done from afar!

I will be sure that Yasmine knows how much her grandfather loves her and how much she means to him and everything he has done to make her transition from Canada to India as easy as possible!!

I hope my dad comes back to visit and stays longer than a week next time!! I know he has to move on with the next phase of his life, a new path that he never expected to take, but life has to go on!

Yasmine will miss the early morning hang out sessions with Granddad, as mommy slept, watching hockey night in Canada with granddad and of course getting burped by Granddad, as he always managed to get the stubborn burps out!!

Thanks for everything dad!!! You are a wonderful father and grandfather, and I’ll never forget how much you have helped me!! We’ll see you really soon and until then, we’ll skype and get to see each other on video!!

The most beautiful thing I heard in a long time....

I haven't been motivated to write in a long time, but while i was sitting upstairs, I overheard my father speaking to my 2 month old daughter and he said the most beautifully moving thing, that I wanted to write it down so as to never forget it.
On Monday we fly to India, and as you all know my mom passed away 2 months ago. So my dad was having a chat with Yasmine and he said to her:
"On Monday when we fly to go and meet your daddy, maybe we'll see your nanny, because we'll be so close to heaven."

I love you and miss you mom, and on Monday night, Yasmine and I will be looking out of the airplane window and up into the heavens for you.

Welcome Yasmine Rose

Dear fellow readers,
Sorry for the disappearing act for the last few months, but those who know me, family and friends you all know the story. For those of you who are random readers, I came back to Canada to have my baby because my mom was diagnosed with cancer. I was 34 weeks pregnant and flew half away around the world to be with my family. My husband was my biggest supporter and made sure I left as soon as possible to be with my mom.
Sadly, she passed away on September 6th, 11 days before her granddaughter Yasmine Rose was born.
But this post is not about losing my mother, because I am not ready to write about that yet. The feelings are still very raw and new, and sometimes I think i am still in denial.
This post is about my daughter, Muscles and my daughter. She was born on September 17th, at 37 and half weeks. I had the support of my Aunt Anita and her daughter, my cousin Sheila in the room with me. They were amazing coaches and took my husbands place. My dad was also in and out of the room supporting me through the labour. i was in labour a total of 15 hours, but only about 6 of those hours were hard constant labour. Yasmine Rose was born at 4;45pm and weighed 6 pounds 4 ounces. She's perfect!
I plan to head back to India in about a month or so after I get all the paperwork done and after my sister has her baby.

Yasmine has been a blessing in our life, and has helped us heal from the death of my mother. She has no idea what her birth has done for us, and what her presence has meant for all of us, my dad, my aunts, my cousins, and my sister and I. One day when she is older she will understand the magnitude of her birth and timing of her being born. She was born the day before my parents were to celebrate their 38th wedding anniversary.
Here are some pictures of her birth and a few weeks after.

minutes old

First hair wash

mama and yasmine

leaving the hospital

At aunty Shar's and Uncle Tim's place