Thursday, June 11, 2009

Need a spouse: Look no further than the classifieds!

Now that I live in the apartment on top of my in-laws I have access to all their newspapers subscriptions. It's nice to be able to keep up with the Bollywood scene and the news scene. However, one day I was going through the newspaper and came across a 2 page spread of " the matrimonial section." One page was girl looking for guy, and the other page was guy looking for girl. But you see, it's not what you'd expect. The main points of interest are the colour of the girls or guy's skin (fair skinned girl seeking fair skinned guy) or (wheat-ish skin boy seeks fair skin girl). Marrying someone fair is important here, so I guess my husband did well, you can't get much fairer than me! HAHA.

Anyway, yesterday, my husband was on the computer typing something out and i asked him what he was typing and he said that his uncle has been trying to find a husband for his daughter for the last year, and so he was typing up her matrimonial bio to give to potential suitors. Muscles cousin is 19 years old and the father is starting to feel desperate that he won't find a husband for her. Geesh!
So I wanted to share with you what a matrimonial bio looks like. I asked Muscles if I could post it, and he thought it would be funny to share.





Matrimonial Bio-Data


Name:- Salma Begum

Age:- 19 Years (1990)

Height:- 5’ 5’’

Complexion:- Fair

Religion:- Islam (Sunni Muslim)

Qualification:- B. Com (Final Year)

Madina Degree College

Himayathnagar

Fathers Name:- Esa Khan

Manager,

Pharmacare Laboratories P.Ltd

Pattedar Village Akhunchaguda Dist. Medak

Grand Father:- Late Mohammed Khan Sahab

(Paternal) Ex-Pattedar Village Akhunchaguda Dist. Medak

Grand Father:- Late Mohammed Abdul Wahab Sahab

(Maternal) Retd. Deputy Collector

Uncles:- Mehmood Khan

(Paternal) Pattedar Village Akhunchaguda Dist. Medak

Yahya Khan

Pattedar Village Akhunchaguda Dist. Medak

Uncles:- Ahmed Abdul Waheed

(Maternal) Retd. Deputy Director,

Directorate of Geology and Mining,

Ahmedabad.

Ahmed Abdul Rasheed

Retd. Field Manager,

Parke-Davis,

Hyderabad.

Khaja Ismail Ahmed

Managing Director,

Pharmacare Laboratories P.Ltd

Hyderabad.

Sheik Ishaq Ahmed

Sr. Executive Manager,

Haji-Hussain Ali-Reza,

Jeddah.

Rafat Siddiqui

Ex-Manager,

S.B.I (Head Office)

Saleem Qureshi

Branch Manager,

S.B.H (Masab Tank)

Brother:- Adil Mohammed Khan

B.Tech (Completed)

Al Habeeb College of Engg. & Tech.


Interesting to note that Muscles cousin isn't really that fair, but putting that she is will increase her suitors. And also, see that there is very little written about her, and more about the kind of family she comes from and the jobs that the men in her family have or have had. Also notice that there is no information about her mother, or her sister, just her uncles, father and brother.
I`m really open to cultures, and I try my best to understand and accept, but arranged marriages and misogyny is still very very hard for me to wrap my head around.
For instance, one of Muscles friends (who really isn`t his friend anymore) told me he knew my baby was a boy. (note: We are not finding out the sex and keeping it a surprise) I replied, why does it matter? And he said well prophets are men, and so it does matter. So I told him I was going home to pray for a girl. Seriously, I can`t handle stuff like that. Muscles and I just hope and pray for a healthy baby, whatever the sex.

So there you have it, if you are looking for a spouse in India, just open up with The Indian Times, you'll have loads of people to select from!!


4 comments:

Why am I here??? said...

THAT'S CRAZY!!!! Wow, when I was reading that information about his cousin I noted that it was all about the males. Very patriarchal indeed! Is it like Korea? I mean probably the only reason I was allowed to marry Sung Hyun is b/c his father died when he was young thus removing the father figure. Sung Hyun is the only son. He's got a big role to play!

I have a request. In your next post (or sometime in the future) could you write about the things that you have experienced or encountered or witnessed that seem to position men above women. Like that story about your husbands friend, for example. I find that stuff so fascinating!

Anyways, hope she finds a lovely man ;)

Unknown said...

That was very interesting, thank you for posting!

It sure amazes me how little importance women are and really, who cares about the Uncles! LOL

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

This is not the case in all of india, but is very common among the Muslim culture (whether they are indians or pakistanis). Islam really thinks of women as the lowest of the lowest. If you read about indian history, before Muslims came to india and ruled the country, you will find that women had equality. India is the land of the Kama Sutra, but Muslim rule changed the society's view towards sexuality, so it's considered "bad". This was not the case before Muslim rule. If you notice, many poor women (hindus) also cover their faces with their sari or a scarf; this was enforced partly by the Muslims, and partly because Muslims raped the girls, and so they hid themselves. Child marriage of the Hindu girls became prevalent to avoid their kidnapping by the Muslims. The salwar kameez, worn by all indian women(hindu, sikh, or muslim) was a muslim invention, it covers the legs and body. Prior to Muslim invasion, women in india did not cover their bodies completely, in fact wore revealing outfits. So it's good to know how Muslim conquest and rule changed India.