Labels (my girlfriend from work) invited me to her brother's wedding that was held yesterday. It was the first Indian wedding I have attended, although I have been invited to a few. Labels is Christian and her brother married a Hindu girl, who is a Brahmin (which is one of the highest caste of Hindu's and who are vegetarian). It obviously is a love marriage, considering the two are from different religions. Planning the wedding was difficult because of varying religious beliefs and the bride chose not to convert to Christianity. It was definitely not a smooth path to the "aisle" (there was no aisle...hahaha).
Now I want to be as diplomatic as I can, and I don't want to come across as insensitive when i describe the wedding. But since this is my blog and it is also a learning tool for all my family and friends I feel I need to be honest about my experience.
Firstly, the wedding was on a Wednesday (although there were several days of celebration before hand) such as the saffron ceremony. The Saffron ceremony is ceremony where the bride to be is purified and adorned by the youngest female of the gathering and the application of Mehendi, where the bride's hands and feet are adorned with henna to enhance and celebrate her beauty
I went with a couple of colleagues from work and when i arrived, (it was in a hotel) there was loud techno music playing and everyone was gathered in this room. Shortly thereafter, the bride and groom walked in (to the techno music), both wearing traditional Indian wedding garland. The groom was in a suit and the bride in an emerald green saree. The parents got up to speak for a few minutes (they spoke in Telegu) so i have no idea what was said. Then the bride and groom cut the cake, fed it to each other, then everyone lined up to wish them congratulations and get our pictures taken.
Then we were whisked away to another room where were ate a buffet dinner, standing up! Yup no chairs or tables. I was carrying a clutch purse and a pashmina and I had to put it between my feet on the floor in order to eat my meal. And with Indian food we mostly eat with our hands, so add that to the mix. Trying to hold a plate, rip roti and naan into small pieces to eat the chicken and veg korma. Freaking difficult.
I was there a total of an hour and a half before we finished desert, said good bye to the bride and groom and made our way back to work.
WOW.
I know every culture has it's own traditions and this has been a learning experience for me. I was honoured to be invited and it was very important to Labels and her mom that I came. And I was glad i went.
I've never been one of those girls who has constantly dreamed about my wedding day and have it planned already. But I have some idea of how I would like it to be. Definitely small, and intimate, special and sentimental.
The Indian wedding was interesting, but it is not how I would want my wedding to be. I also went to a couple of Korean weddings as well when I lived there, and they were also rushed and tacky. Although I would hate to see the whole world westernized, because it would be a boring world if that was the case, I do feel that western weddings are beautiful (when done right and not crazily over budget).
Definitely glad I experienced that, but when I think back to my sister's and her husband's wedding, it was so magical and although their wedding may not be what everyone envisions, I felt it had the best of everything. But mostly you just felt love in the room! And I guess that is what is should come down to in the end.
2 comments:
I really hope that when you have your wedding day, its exactly the way you envision it, and not the way "you are supposed to have it" or the way " your mother wants it". Really. I loved my wedding, do not get me wrong, however... did I actually enjoy myself that day socially? I can say no. Really no. We left for our hotel after midnight shortly. I think back and omg, i stressed and stressed, and focused on everything to be right, and I didnt enjoy myself. Im not saying my wedding was a mistake, omg I am with a man that I love so much, and I know he loves me. And whatever way I went about it to get to him, he is exactly what I want.
But the wedding.... I think back to my brother's wedding. Begging the DJ to play later than 2 pm, because we were partying away. My brothers both, for each of their weddings, dancing with us, throwing their tux jackets on the floor, and we were dancing up a storm. I just wish I would have enjoyed it that much.
Now dont get me wrong, going to the hotel early, was not a bad thing either. Only we had like our fun, and fell asleep and didnt wake up until my mother called at 10am and said we were late for brunch. So...umm I think we were exhausted, and really it was just over the stress, and not over enjoying ourselves.
Shelley... I know you, and you will have exactly what you want. But I also know that you sweat the details too. You do have a bit of ummmm how do I say this.... ummmmm CONTROL/POWER... lol, you will want everything perfect. All i want to tell you is, ENJOY IT.
That day will come, and it will be with the greatest guy ever, because you would never settle for less, and you deserve the best!!!!
Okay i really dragged on. Here i am trying to catch up on your blogs, and Im writing my own. LMAO
I love how you had to write "when done right" after "I do feel that western weddings are beautiful". This applies to all weddings of any culture. As an Indian bride-to-be, I also agree with your post... it sounds tacky and I wouldn't choose to do things that way, I just hope you understand that Indian weddings can be very beautiful too (when done right and not crazily over budget)!!!
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